Frédo - Bernard Dimey

On l'connaît d'puis la communale
Le gars qu'est là sur la photo
A la première page du journal
Mais on l'reverra pas d'sitôt
Il a saigné deux vieilles mémères
Et buté trois flics, des costauds
Certain'ment sur un coup d'colère
Vu qu'il est pas méchant Frédo

We’ve known ‘im since primary school,
The guy on that photo there,
On the front page of the paper,
But we won’t be seeing ‘im again soon.
He spilled the blood of two old dears,
And knocked off three cops, strong'uns.
Without doubt in a fit of anger,
Seeing as ‘ow ‘e isn’t a bad’un, Frédo.

Il a pillé la Banque de France
Pour rendre service à des copains
Pour améliorer leurs finances
Faut bien qu'tout l'monde y gagne son pain
Y a deux trois employés d'la banque
Qu'ont pris d'la mitraille plein la peau
Bon dieu dans ces cas-là on s'planque
Mais c'est pas sa faute à Frédo

‘E ‘eld up the Bank of France,
As a favour for some mates of ‘is,
To improve their finances,
After all it’s everyone’s right to earn a living.
There were two or three bank workers
Who copped some slugs, peppered all over they were!
Good god in cases like that you disappear,
But it’s not ‘is fault, Frédo's.

Il a liquidé sa frangine
Une salope une rien du tout
Parce qu'il voulait plus qu'elle tapine
Elle a calanché sur le coup
Ca c'est des histoires de famille
Ca regarde pas l'populo
Et puis c'était jamais qu'une fille
A part ça l'est gentil Frédo

‘E topped ‘is sister,
A slut, a worthless piece of nothing,
Because ‘e didn’t want ‘er on the game no more.
She snuffed it from the blow.
That’s a family matter.
That’s nobody’s business.
And after all she was only a girl!
Apart from that ‘e’s a sweet boy, Frédo.

Il a vagu'ment fait du chantage
C'était plutôt pour rigoler
Pour avoir l'air d'être à la page
Mais les mômes qu'il a chouravés
C'était des p'tits morveux d'la haute
Qui bouffent du caviar au kilo
Tout pour les uns rien pour les autres
"C'est pas juste" y disait Frédo

‘E ‘ad a little go at blackmail,
It was just for fun really,
To show that ‘e was with it.
But the kids ‘e ripped off
Were snooty little snots,
Who stuff themselves with caviar by the kilo.
All for them and nix for the rest.
“It’s not right, that”, said Frédo.

Il a fait l'ramdam chez les Corses
Un soir qu'il avait picolé
Et comme y connaît pas sa force
Les autres ils ont pas rigolé
Raphaël a sorti son lingue
Bref tout l'monde s'est troué la peau
C'est vraiment une histoire de dingues
Vu qu'c'est tous des pôtes à Frédo

‘E started a ruckus at the Corsicans’
One evening when ‘e was pickled,
And since ‘e didn’t know ‘is own strength
It was no joke for the others.
Raphaël got out ‘is shiv,
In short ev’ryone got stuck full of ‘oles.
It’s a crazy story really,
Seeing as ‘ow they were all ‘is mates, Frédo’s.

L'histoire des deux voyous d'Pigalle
Qu'il a flingué d'un coeur léger
Moitié camés moitié pédales
Il fallait bien les corriger
Sinon peu à peu qu'est-ce qui s'passe ?
Un jour ça s'allonge aux perdreaux
Total qui c'est qui paie la casse ?
"C'est nos zigues" y disait Frédo

The tale of the two louts from Pigalle,
Who ‘e shot as a bit of ballistic therapy,
Half stoned, half queer,
They needed setting straight.
Otherwise, bit by bit, who knows what might happen?
Soon it’s spread to the young’uns
And who picks up the tab for all that,
“It’s us mugs” said Frédo.

Un coup d'pique-feu dans l'péritoine
Et Frédo s'est r'trouvé comme ça
Le cul sur l'faubourg Saint-Antoine
Qu'est c'qu'il foutait dans c'quartier-là ?
Bien sûr il s'est r'trouvé tout d'suite
Avec les poulets sur le dos
Maint'nant vous connaissez la suite
Vous l'avez lue dans les journaux

A poker in the belly And Frédo found ‘imself just like that,
On ‘is arse in the faubourg Saint-Antoine.
What the ‘ell was ‘e doing there?
Of course in a trice
‘E ‘ad the pigs on ‘is back,
And now you know the rest,
‘Cos you’ve read it in the papers.

Un garçon qu'avait tout pour faire
Impeccable mentalité
Délicat, correc' en affaires
Bref il avait qu'des qualités
Ca fait mal quand on l'imagine
En train d'basculer sous l'couteau
De leur salop'rie d'guillotine
Un mec aussi gentil qu'Frédo.

A lad who ‘ad everything still to do,

An impeccable attitude,
Tactful, straight in business deals,
When all's said and done ‘e ‘ad only good qualities.
It ‘urts to imagine ‘im
About to fall under the blade
Of that filthy guillotine.
A bloke as nice as Frédo.

Traduction libre par John et Christiane Preedy 2011

Bernard Dimey Wikipedia et son site internet

Les Frères Jacques

105 Ans Aujourd'hui - Merci Papa!

La Tirade du Nez

(Cyrano de Bergerac Acte 1, scène 4) écrit par Edmond Rostand en 1897

Cyrano, a swordsman, but also a poet, is insulted by a young nobleman, who refers to the size of his nose. This is his response!

Ah! Non ! C'est un peu court, jeune homme ! On pouvait dire... oh ! Dieu ! ... bien des choses en somme... En variant le ton, —par exemple, tenez :	Ah no! Young blade! That was a trifle short! You might have said at least a hundred things… By varying the tone. . .like this, suppose,. . .
Agressif : « moi, monsieur, si j'avais un tel nez, Il faudrait sur le champ que je me l'amputasse ! »	Aggressive: 'Sir, if I had such a nose I'd amputate it immediately!'
Amical : « mais il doit tremper dans votre tasse : Pour boire, faites-vous fabriquer un hanap ! »	Friendly: 'When you sup It must annoy you, dipping in your cup; You need a drinking-bowl of special shape!
Descriptif : « c'est un roc ! ... c'est un pic... c'est un cap ! Que dis-je, c'est un cap ? ... c'est une péninsule ! »	Descriptive: ''Tis a rock!. . .a peak!. . .a cape! --A cape, forsooth! 'Tis a peninsular!'
Curieux : « de quoi sert cette oblongue capsule ? D'écritoire, monsieur, ou de boîte à ciseaux ? »	Curious: 'How serves that oblong capsular? For scissor-sheath? Or pot to hold your ink?
Gracieux : « aimez-vous à ce point les oiseaux Que paternellement vous vous préoccupâtes De tendre ce perchoir à leurs petites pattes ? »	Gracious: 'You love the little birds, I think? I see you've managed with a fond research To find their tiny claws a roomy perch!'
Truculent : « ça, monsieur, lorsque vous pétunez, La vapeur du tabac vous sort-elle du nez Sans qu'un voisin ne crie au feu de cheminée? »	Truculent: 'When you smoke your pipe, I suppose That the tobacco-smoke spouts from your nose-- Do not the neighbours, as the fumes rise higher, Cry terror-struck: "The chimney is afire"?
Prévenant : « gardez-vous, votre tête entraînée Par ce poids, de tomber en avant sur le sol ! »	Considerate: 'Take care,. . .your head bowed low By such a weight. . .lest head o'er heels you go!'
Tendre : « faites-lui faire un petit parasol De peur que sa couleur au soleil ne se fane ! »	Tender: 'Pray get a small umbrella made, Lest its bright colour in the sun should fade!”
Pédant : « l'animal seul, monsieur, qu'Aristophane Appelle hippocampelephantocamélos Dut avoir sous le front tant de chair sur tant d'os ! »	Pedantic: 'That beast Aristophanes names, Hippocamelelephantoles Must have possessed just such a solid lump Of flesh and bone, beneath his forehead's bump!'
Cavalier : « quoi, l'ami, ce croc est à la mode ? Pour pendre son chapeau c'est vraiment très commode ! »	Cavalier: 'The latest fashion, friend, that hook? To hang your hat on? 'Tis a useful crook!'
Emphatique : « aucun vent ne peut, nez magistral, T'enrhumer tout entier, excepté le mistral ! »	Emphatic: 'No wind, O majestic nose, Can give THEE a cold!--save when the mistral blows!'
Dramatique : « c'est la Mer Rouge quand il saigne ! »	Dramatic: 'When it bleeds, what a Red Sea!'
Admiratif : « pour un parfumeur, quelle enseigne ! »	Admiring: 'What a sign for a perfumery!'
Lyrique : « est-ce une conque, êtes-vous un triton ? »	Lyric: 'Is this a conch?. . .a Triton you?'
Naïf : « ce monument, quand le visite-t-on ? »	Simple: 'When is the monument on view?'
Respectueux : « souffrez, monsieur, qu'on vous salue, C'est là ce qui s'appelle avoir pignon sur rue ! »	Respectful : 'Allow us, Sir, to salute you, a man who stands out from the crowd, that’s you!'
Campagnard : « hé, ardé ! C'est-y un nez ? Nanain ! C'est queuqu'navet géant ou ben queuqu'melon nain ! »	Rustic: 'That thing a nose? Marry-come-up! 'Tis a dwarf pumpkin, or a prize turnip!'
Militaire : « pointez contre cavalerie ! »	Military: 'Point against cavalry!'
Pratique : « voulez-vous le mettre en loterie ? Assurément, monsieur, ce sera le gros lot ! »	Practical: 'Put it in a lottery! Assuredly 'twould be the biggest prize!'
Enfin parodiant Pyrame en un sanglot : « Le voilà donc ce nez qui des traits de son maître A détruit l'harmonie ! Il en rougit, le traître ! »	Or. . .parodying Pyramus' sighs. . . 'Behold the nose that mars the harmony Of its master's phiz! blushing its treachery!'
—Voilà ce qu'à peu près, mon cher, vous m'auriez dit Si vous aviez un peu de lettres et d'esprit : Mais d'esprit, ô le plus lamentable des êtres, Vous n'en eûtes jamais un atome, et de lettres Vous n'avez que les trois qui forment le mot : sot !	--Such, my dear sir, is what you might have said, Had you of wit or letters the least jot: But, O most lamentable man!--of wit You never had an atom, and of letters You have three only!—and they spell Sot!
Eussiez-vous eu, d'ailleurs, l'invention qu'il faut Pour pouvoir là, devant ces nobles galeries, Me servir toutes ces folles plaisanteries, Que vous n'en eussiez pas articulé le quart De la moitié du commencement d'une, car Je me les sers moi-même, avec assez de verve, Mais je ne permets pas qu'un autre me les serve.	And--had you had the necessary wit, To serve me all the pleasantries I quote Before this noble audience. . .e'en so, You would not have been let to utter one-- Nay, not the half or quarter of such jest! I take them from myself all in good part, But not from any other man that breathes!'

The English translation came from here

Poems Showing the Absurdities of English Spelling

If you are learning English, pronunciation and spelling are among the most difficult things to learn.  Don't worry it isn't just you!  The poems below show just how difficult it really is! I take it you already know Of tough and bough and cough and dough? Others may stumble, but not you, On hiccough, thorough, lough and through? Well done! And now you wish, perhaps, To learn of less familiar traps? Beware of heard, a dreadful word That looks like beard and sounds like bird, And dead: it's said like bed, not bead - For goodness sake don't call it deed! Watch out for meat and great and threat (They rhyme with suite and straight and debt).

Si vous essayez d'apprendre l'Anglais la prononciation et l'écriture sont parmi les plus difficiles. Il ne faut pas paniquer! Les poems ci-dessus montrent bien les grands difficultés, pour les anglais pareil! A moth is not a moth in mother, Nor both in bother, broth in brother, And here is not a match for there Nor dear and fear for bear and pear, And then there's dose and rose and lose - Just look them up - and goose and choose, And cork and work and card and ward, And font and front and word and sword, And do and go and thwart and cart - Come, come, I've hardly made a start! A dreadful language? Man alive! I'd mastered it when I was five!

Quoted by Vivian Cook and Melvin Bragg 2004, by Richard Krogh, in D Bolinger & D A Sears, Aspects of Language, 1981,

and in Spelling Progress Bulletin March 1961, Brush up on your English.

Our Strange Lingo

When the English tongue we speak. Why is break not rhymed with freak? Will you tell me why it's true We say sew but likewise few? And the maker of the verse, Cannot rhyme his horse with worse? Beard is not the same as heard Cord is different from word. Cow is cow but low is low Shoe is never rhymed with foe. Think of hose, dose, and lose

And think of goose and yet with choose Think of comb, tomb and bomb, Doll and roll or home and some. Since pay is rhymed with say Why not paid with said I pray? Think of blood, food and good. Mould is not pronounced like could. Wherefore done, but gone and lone - Is there any reason known? To sum up all, it seems to me Sound and letters don't agree.

This was written by Lord Cromer, published in the Spectator of August 9th, 1902

and extracts were quoted in an SSS pamflet in 1930.

Phoney Phonetics.

One reason why I cannot spell, Although I learned the rules quite well Is that some words like coup and through Sound just like threw and flue and Who; When oo is never spelled the same, The duice becomes a guessing game; And then I ponder over though, Is it spelled so, or throw, or beau, And bough is never bow, it's bow, I mean the bow that sounds like plow, And not the bow that sounds like row - The row that is pronounced like roe. I wonder, too, why rough and tough, That sound the same as gruff and muff, Are spelled like bough and though, for they Are both pronounced a different way. And why can't I spell trough and cough The same as I do scoff and golf?

Why isn't drought spelled just like route, or doubt or pout or sauerkraut? When words all sound so much the same To change the spelling seems a shame. There is no sense - see sound like cents - in making such a difference Between the sight and sound of words; Each spelling rule that undergirds The way a word should look will fail And often prove to no avail Because exceptions will negate The truth of what the rule may state; So though I try, I still despair And moan and mutter "It's not fair That I'm held up to ridicule And made to look like such a fool When it's the spelling that's at fault. Let's call this nonsense to a halt."

Attributed to Vivian Buchan, NEA Journal 1966/67, USA,

published in Spelling Progress Bulletin Spring 1966 pdf, p6, Reprinted from Educational Horizons.

Why English is so Hard to Learn

We must polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. The farm was used to produce produce. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. The soldier decided to desert in the desert. This was a good time to present the present. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. I did not object to the object. The insurance was invalid for the invalid. The bandage was wound around the wound. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They were too close to the door to close it. The buck does funny things when the does are present. They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. The wind was too strong to wind the sail. After a number of injections my jaw got number. Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? I read it once and will read it agen I learned much from this learned treatise. I was content to note the content of the message. The Blessed Virgin blessed her. Blessed her richly. It's a bit wicked to over-trim a short wicked candle. If he will absent himself we mark him absent. I incline toward bypassing the incline.

This poem is quoted on many websites.

From Mr. P. H. Horner, Education Dept., Rolle College, Exmouth, Devon.

HOW DOES THE REVEREND OUGH PRONOUNCE HIS NAME?

It must be rather rough

to be addressed as Reverend Ough.

Or do you politely cough

and say, 'No, I pronounce it Ough'?

Yet if you lived in Slough

you'd be known as Reverend Ough.

While the priest by Irish lough

is addressed as Father Ough.

But I rather think it, though,

that you're simply known as Ough.

Still, I think I've said enough

Mr. Oh, Ow, Ock or Uff.

With Many thanks to the Spelling Society
There are lots of others of course - so please send them here - enquiries@spellingsociety.org

Selected Poems by Roger Mc Gough

© Roger McGough

Pay-back Time	Régler les Comptes
O Lord, let me be a burden on my children For long they've been a burden upon me. May they fetch and carry, clean and scrub And do so cheerfully.	Seigneur, laisse-moi devenir un fardeau pour mes enfants Depuis longtemps ils ont été le mien Laissez-les courir, nettoyer et frotter Et de plus avec bonne grâce
Let them take it in turns at putting me up Nice sunny rooms at the top of the stairs With a walk-in bath and lift installed At great expense.....Theirs.	Laissez-les me loger chacun à leur tour Au dernier étage dans des chambres ensoleillées Avec ascenseur et baignoire d’accès facile Tout installé ………à leurs frais
Insurance against the body-blows of time Isn't that what having children's all about? To bring them up knowing that they owe you And can't contract out?	Assurance contre les mauvais coups du sort N’est-ce pas pour cela qu‘on a eu des enfants? Pour les élever dans la connaissance qu’ils nous seront endettés Á jamais redevable
What is money for but to spend on their schooling? Designer clothes, mindless hobbies, usual stuff. Then as soon as they're earning, off they go Well, enough's enough.	Á quoi sert l’argent sinon pour leur éducation? Vêtements à la mode, passe-temps inutiles et tout le reste Puis, des qu’ils commencent à gagner, ils partent Á la! Assez, assez !
It's been a blessing watching them develop The parental pride we felt as each one grew. But Lord, let me be a burden on my children And on my children's children too.	Ce fut une bénédiction de les voir grandir Notre fierté parentale grandissant avec chacun d’eux Mais Seigneur, laisse-moi devenir un fardeau pour mes enfants Et pour les enfants de mes enfants aussi

In Case of Fire

En Cas de Feu

In case of fire, break glass In case of glass, fill with water In case of water, wear heavy boots In case of heavy boots, assume foetal position In case of foetal position, loosen clothing In case of clothing, avoid nudist beach In case of nudist beach, keep sand out of eyes In case of eyes, close curtains In case of curtains, switch on light In case of light, embrace truth In case of truth, spread word In case of word, keep mum In case of Mum, open arms In case of arms, lay down gun In case of gun, fire In case of fire ……

En cas de feu, brisez le verre En cas de verre, remplissez d’eau En cas d’eau, enfilez bottes lourdes En cas de bottes lourdes, prenez position fœtale En cas de position fœtale, desserrez vêtements En cas de vêtements, évitez plage nudiste En cas de plage nudiste, évitez sable dans les yeux En cas d’yeux, fermez rideaux En cas de rideaux, allumez lumière En cas de lumière, accueillez la vérité En cas de vérité, pesez vos paroles En cas de paroles, étudiez la langue mère En cas de mère, ouvrez les bras En cas de bras, portez lance flamme En cas de lance flamme, faites feu En cas de feu ……

One day Roger was sitting in a train in a quiet zone (no mobile phones). A lady sat opposite him, got out her phone and started talking to all her friends. Being shy he didn’t want to make a scene, so he decided to write a poem and give it to her instead!

Un jour Roger était assis dans un train dans une zone silencieuse. Une dame assise en face de lui prit son portable et parla avec toutes ses amies. Du fait de sa timidité il ne voulu pas faire une scène, donc il décida d’écrire un poème et de le lui donner!

Quiet Zone

With respect, this is a quiet zone And although when travelling on your own It’s nice to have a good old chat with someone on the phone This is a quiet zone. Sshh. Quiet, say the signs on every table, window or door, Obviously nothing to do with mobiles, So what do you think they’re for? A warning perhaps to brass bands looking for a place to rehearse. To a horde of angry soccer fans who need to stamp and curse, A troop of soldiers on the march, tramp, tramp or worse. A stampede of trumpeting elephants, a disruptive class of kids The entire cast of Stomp banging on dustbin lids. A volcano bursting to erupt, an unexploded mine Sshh, quiet, with respect, can’t you read the sign?

Zone Silencieuse

Avec respect, cette zone est une zone silencieuse. Et bien qu’il soit agréable, lorsqu’ on voyage seul, De faire causette sur un portable Celle-ci est une zone silencieuse. Chut, chut, silence, disent les pancartes sur chaque table, fenêtre et porte Évidemment ceci n’a rien à voir avec les portables, Donc à quoi peuvent-elles servir à votre avis ? Un avertissement peut-être pour une fanfare en cherche d’un endroit de répétition, Pour une horde de fans de foot en colères, qui ont besoin de hurler et jurer, Pour une troupe de soldats marchant lourdement, Le barrissement d’éléphants en débandade, une classe de gosses dissipés, La compagnie théâtrale entière de Stomp frappant sur des couvercles de poubelle, Un volcan prêt à faire éruption, une mine non explosée? Chut, chut, silence, avec respect, ne pouvez-vous lire la pancarte?

The Leader	Le Chef
I wanna be the leader I wanna be the leader Can I be the leader? Can I? I can? Promise? Promise? Yippee I’m the leader I’m the leader OK what shall we do?	J’veux être le chef J’veux être le chef Puis-je être le chef ? Puis-je? Je peux? Promis? Promis? Youpi j’suis le chef J’suis le chef OK qu’est-ce qu’on va faire?